Tuesday, September 29, 2009

To catch the light

"Looking into your eyes is like looking into a very deep river." She said as we danced, "What is underneath the river?"

"More river." I said, "Forever."

We kissed on the stairs, she in a white ballgown, me in black sequin bodysuit. We were both covered in fake blood, the spectators watched while she pressed herself against me for more. More river. The boy she had been kissing before looked heartbroken, he thought he was special, but it was all part of the act. Interactive German theater. It was just like life really, but more blood, and in the end quite boring.

I left the theater with a girl who had light spilling out of her eyes. We talked all night about art and orange juice concentrate. Over shots of vodka we started a theater company.

My world is spinning fast these cold German days. I've already played in Berlin, Hamburg, and Leipzig. My stage fright takes the form of self defeat and pushes me down in the cold German ground. I fight the gravity and play on. The shows are getting better and better, the songs stronger, my voice more clear. I wear sequins onstage because they catch the light and throw it back in every direction.

I sleep alone and dream of death. The death of an era in my life maybe.

I wake up and catch the light, throw it back in every direction.


  1. I'm tempted to make an unqualified semi-sexist comment about where to find these interactive lesbo-erotica theaters (living in Germany for 26 years and totally missed out on these!), tho I'm resisting in order not to spoil the poetry condensed in this blog post.
    Nevertheless: In case music carrier fails, I forsee a future in writing steamy XXX novels! eewwww ^_^

  2. As long as the death of an era is your stage fright, kill it dead. Keep performing and come back and show us what you have become.

  3. The video is awesome. I wanted to donate and then realised that both of my cards are maestro, so i guess i'll give you some physical euros when i'll catch you up at a concert in berlin soon. LOVE.
    (the live recordings are insane, your voice = so moving)

  4. What a beautiful discription of what sounds like an amazing evening. It really looks like you artistic intution to sorround yourself with a culture that embraces crativity is having a transformative effect on you. I think that's a win for all of us. Thank you for the light =)