Today I recorded my final rap for Amanda Palmer's 'Map of Tasmania.'
Today Jim is working on 'The Organ Donor's March' animation, cutting up pieces of paper, figuring things out. I love to watch him work.
Today I found out my childhood friend is in a coma here in Melbourne. She was run over by a garbage truck. Her pelvis is crushed. Her coma is medically induced, they don't want to wake her up. Too much pain. She can't breathe on her own, there are machines to do it for her.
We grew up not far from each other, in the countryside of Ontario, Canada. Her family and my family were good friends. I have so many memories of those beautiful, blonde sisters and their fairytale home. She has lived in Melbourne for years. She is insanely smart, like scary smart. When she was five she had a better vocabulary than most professional writers. She's a lawyer now. She's 27. She was run over by a truck. A fucking truck.
Humans are so little. So fragile. Trucks are big. And stupid. Who the fuck thought of trucks?
I want to keep smiling and believe that she will be ok. Because humans are fragile but they are also very strong. And resilient. And she's so smart and determined and beautiful. She must know how to fix herself. Even in her sleep.
She was riding her bicycle to work.
I write a blog, I send emails, I record a song. I keep doing things. Intermittently, I cry. Quietly.
I want to be able to make her all better. I want to fix everything.
Jim cuts paper. I send some more emails. And I try to understand how to keep going when someone so beautiful is hurting so badly. And I can't do anything about it.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
I've been wanting to do this ever since I've been in Australia - actually ever since I saw "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." Now I am happy.
Also: These people make me happy...
Sometimes I look at these photos when I'm sad.
So much love.
Monday, February 14, 2011
For my birthday I asked people to draw me riding a unicorn, and I got some very lovely submissions. These make me really happy.
By Melissa Dowell
by The Kiska
The Kiska also included this amazing email explanation. Subject line: I'M AN ART MAJOR
Happy birthday! I hope it was an awesome one. As requested, I have drawn you YOU, riding a unicorn. But it's MORE than just you riding a unicorn! I would like to point out straight away that you are, indeed, naked. But there is fair reason for that. In a world where unicorns just step out of hiding at 9 AM and allow you to ride on them, do you honestly think people would worry about clothing? Of course not! They'd HOP on his/her/it's/hir's back without a second thought and ride until they needed to stop for food or perhaps a bathroom break! And, if they WERE wearing clothing, ANYONE would tear the fabricy strands from their body from SHEER excitement!
Secondly, you also have lobster claws. There's a good reason for that too. It's your birthday present. Gifts are best when they're filled of things you do NOT expect and when was the last time someone drew you naked with lobster claws? WHILE riding a unicorn? It's your special day. Embrace your gorgeous hands. They'll help you catch your prey or pick little buggies out that are nezzled in Unicorn's hair. They also produce sparkles.
You're also a faerie.
Lastly, the upper left hand corner was very bland, so I tried to draw you a mango vine. But the mangos just looked like a bunch of deformed glaring eyes with streamers running through them, so I drew you a glass of wine. Clearly, Unicorn is bringing you right to it and you can reach out with your lobster claws and grab it. I hope you're not allergic to wine. Lots of people I know have grown an allergy to wine within the past two weeks. If so, then it's grape juice. And if you're allergic to grapes all together, it's blood.
I hope you had a FABULOUS birthday (by the looks of your blog, it seems so!). I've always wanted to be friends with and ride a unicorn too. I know it'll happen some day.
Enjoy your drawing of you! Keep happy and awesome!! Much love!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Photo by Jim Batt
Kim Boekbinder, Amanda Palmer, Saint Clare
I'm in Byron Bay, Australia. Jim Batt, Amanda Palmer, and Eric Sussman flank me. We are the dreaded macbook brigade. The cafe tries to hate us but we are charming.
Eleventy million things to say, but not much time for saying.
I'm trying to figure out how to tour. I love playing. I need to do a lot of work to figure out how to afford launching a good tour. I've just plotted out the next year of schedule, things will surely change but it helps to have even a shadow of a plan. I want to be everywhere at once. I want to go to every city and play in every place I can.
I have so many ideas and so many plans.
My show is getting better every time I play. Being on tour with Amanda Palmer is really good for me. We play, we laugh, we look good in sparkles. We go naked night swimming. We work all day on laptops. We live.
Photo by Jim Batt
Kim Boekbinder with Mikelango and Saint Clare
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
This is a sort of follow up to the last blog in which I said:
"…one of my deepest fears is that nothing will ever be enough, that I will be too busy reaching for the next shiny red apple to notice the juicy ripe peach that's in my mouth. I always want more. And striving is a wonderful thing, reaching for the stars is grand, but not if you miss the life while you're living it."
A few days ago an old friend wrote to me - I've known her since the day she was born - she was writing to tell me how much she loves me, she misses me and is wondering how my life is. I wrote her a very brief update:
I'm in Australia - in love with super amazing lovely Australian artist and film maker who makes my heart bigger and stronger and lovey. His name is Jim. Kim and Jim. Jim and Kim. Lalala.
You can see his stuff here: http://www.jimbatt.com
I'm touring a bit with my friend Amanda Palmer who has a cult following. We just played at the Sydney Opera House which was fun and great. I play dress up for a living!
I released my album - you can get it here: http://music.kimboekbinder.com
I'm glad to hear your mum is better. And that your dad is well.
Let's have a skype date after your thesis draft and my tour is done. Mid feb - your birthday time!
And she wrote back:
That's incredibly wonderful and my heart is soaring for you, your Love and your fun tour with Amanda (who is exquisite, I MUST say...)
This is so great----darling, in case you haven't noticed…you're DOING IT!
I am so proud that you are playing dress-ups for a living and can't help feeling like a rooted part of that crazy tree...and I'm so glad to know you still my darling friend."
And then I think, "Yeah…I'm doing it, aren't I?"
It's easy to think it isn't enough. I don't want to just rap in one song at the Sydney Opera House, I want my own fucking show there. I don't want to just release an album, I want it to be a runaway hit.
But this is a step. A good step. A step that needs to be made. Release the album, play the little shows. Be the support act. Sometimes you play to empty rooms. But always be sparkly, always give it everything, always be present, always be you.
I'm impatient. Yes. But I can be present. Right now. I am doing it. Playing dress up for a living. Having hard shows, good shows, great shows. Being no one, being someone, being.
Step by step, slowly and with intention. Head up, heart open. Walking into the sky.