Thursday, April 29, 2010

I fall into the light

On my calendar today it says: ALONE. 

My first day alone, with nothing scheduled. I haven't been alone for weeks, I won't be alone for weeks to come. There are three Australian house guests who do a slapstick variety routine of hangover comedy in the morning. Last night they came home at 4am, broke a mirror, left the glass on the bathroom floor. They are tan, with hard bodies, boisterous and full of energy to be in New York. The boy has long black wavy hair, like a wig. I stare for  long time while he puts on his zebra striped pants. The girls are covered in tattoos. I luxuriate in the accents. They bring me fancy sea-salt chocolate to thank me for my hospitality. I like them.

Last week I played four shows. Had five rehearsals. Hosted a friend. Went to two other concerts. And met a British man - Malcolm - who was stranded by the ash cloud and became my best friend for a few days. He's gone now, and with him his friend Paulo who worried that once they stopped buying me dinner I would never eat again. I still eat, and for my size I eat a lot. But now I eat at home instead of at the table next to Susan Sarandon in that fancy place with red velvet booths and chandeliers.

It's all spit and glitter here. Shiny teeth and introductions. Everyone is maneuvering all the time. I intrigue them with my genuine nature. Or is it the pink hair and leopard print cape? Whatever it is: doors are opened, dinners paid for, emails sent, kisses on both cheeks, please stand here while we take your picture.

Yes, it's all red carpets, art openings, celebrities, guest lists, PR, interviews, secret clubs, and more. And more.

Am I empty? Am I full? Is any of it substantial or will it all fade if I try to grasp the treasures that are flashed before me?

My shows are still badly attended. It's not like I'm suddenly famous. I just fall into the light sometimes.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Cup

It wasn't really a cataclysmic event. I just looked up from my sushi dinner and told my date I didn't believe in love anymore.

"I don't believe in love anymore."

I felt the words, each a separate shape that hooked onto the one next to it, as they left my mouth. The words hung, in an eternally awkward moment of silence. The sentence fidgeted, scuffed one toe against the other and bashfully tried to insert itself back between my lips.

My date looked concerned.

"Since when?" he asked.

I shrugged and said nothing else until we got home. Home that is not my home anymore. Home that marks the absence of a geriatric cat. Home that I am sad, no glad, no sad, no glad, to leave. I brushed and flossed, stared at my new, not-believing-in-love face in the mirror, made aquaintance with eyes that no longer glistened with suspended disbelief.

"How do you feel?" He asked.


"I think you still believe in love." He said as I crawled into his lap.

But I feel empty. Like a cup that is about to be filled, but never is.


<a href="">Rainbows and Unicorns by Kim Boekbinder</a>

Thursday, April 15, 2010

New Website, New Art

"Unipus" by Shannon Marshall

I am listening to this: Botanica because it is SO effing good. (Fun fact: Brian Viglione plays drums.) Go listen. Then buy a ticket to their show: TICKET LINK

Then eat a cookie.

I am re-doing my websites because I was tired of the art that had nothing to do with me, even though naked ladies are nice to look at. I rather like the image of me holding a severed heart - by the wonderful Mary Larsen

I have your heart...I have your heart...I have your heart...!

Speaking of which! Molly Crabapple and I are working with a truly wonderful animator, Jim Batt, in Australia to make "The Organ Donor's March" animated music video! We had our very first cross-continental Skype meeting last night and got some good things accomplished. I am a very lucky girl. We'll be posting images/videos and more soon.

Then Molly and I did a quick stop-motion test for another music video idea I have - because we must always be doing as many things as possible. It goes by fast, but it works and we did it on an iPhone (and a bottle of champagne.)

I now have three music videos in the works. And new artists who will be contributing to the album art. I am absolutely over the moon, ecstatically happy, and a little delirious about the people who want to be involved. There will be A LOT of art - one beautiful piece for each track on the project! Feast your eyes on their talents (these are not the pieces for the album...those come later...)

Travis Louie

Dax Tran-Caffee.

As well as the art of a beautiful gypsy (yes, by blood) who writes, paints, tells fortunes, and lives a passionate life. The enchanting,
Katelan Foisy. Read her blog, it is delicious.

There are more, I will be announcing them as they come.

If you would like to make art for "The Impossible Girl" please send it to kim (at) - I will post every piece I get on the website - though they might not all fit in the "official" release.

I'm also looking for short stories about "The Impossible Girl" - whatever that means to you.

And while I'm at it I will tell you the thing that has been making me smile happy little heart warming smiles to myself all week:

Rosanne Cash - yes, THE Rosanne Cash - pre-ordered my album! We follow each other on twitter, and after a 140 character conversation about nuclear physics she watched my webcast from my last show. She liked my album preview so much that she ordered the album. And this, I must say, is quite a compliment. Here is a lady who has been steeped in amazing music since before she was born. She is incredibly talented, intelligent and lovely - her Twitter stream attests to these allegations.

And I put up a subscription button on my website - by request - for people who want to give me money every month. Whee! What you give will be tallied up and you'll get the album pre-order package that corresponds with the amount you give.


And....whew...Oh man, I'm exhausted from all these words and concepts, but just one more thing: I'm hosting this event on April 24th, I'll play a few songs, but mostly will be very charming with the microphone and dancing to the music of my fantastic friends, Budzillus - from Berlin! These parties are legendary. Get tickets!

Also going to see Budzillus tonight in the East Village - come!

Mehanata Bulgarian Bar
9pm, April 15th
113 Ludlow

Thursday, April 8, 2010

It is Gorgeous in My Head

Exclusive! Pre-Order only T-Shirt! Click for details.

Tweet this!

Molly Crabapple and I teamed up to create this T-shirt design for people who pre-order any album package of $100 or more. And I LOVE this design. The shirts will never be made available again. Oh ephemera!

Pre-Order now/Add to your existing order

In other news:

I am completely in love with New York. My time here has been amazing. Every day I meet to collaborate with artists. Today I have two rehearsals, tomorrow as well. Shows keep rolling in and I have two music videos in the works! One with BriAnna Olson, one with Molly Crabapple and Jim Batt.

I got recognized on the street yesterday by a man whose seen me play. My friend Lucio says that being recognized in New York means you're doing something right.

And it feels right. I am in the right place, at the right time and I am soaking it up for all it's worth. Life doesn't often feel this...not perfect, but just somehow precise.

Yesterday morning I woke up discouraged. Yes, it's hard, this life. For everyone. And for me sometimes with the music. But I decided to change my outlook and then wonderful things started happening. I have a bunch of new artists signed on to make art for my album, and some writers too. And there will be a big post about this, and about how you can make art, or words, for The Impossible Girl project - which is getting big and lovely and growing beyond and growing up and taking flight.

I say I decided to change my outlook, as if that were easy. And it is easy, when it's easy. Other times it is nigh impossible. I haven't had a serious depression since December. There have been hard days, and a dark week after getting that terrible flu in Alabama. But really, for the past few months I have felt very strong.

I feel as though I have this swirling mass of energy, thoughts, actions, life, all around me. I am in the center of a Kim vortex. And when I am strong enough I can use the momentum of the spin to fling the bad thoughts back out into the stratosphere where they burn up. But if I am not strong, or not diligent enough, if I let the thoughts sink down, they take hold, the spin gets denser, faster, I get sucked down and down, collapsing in on myself. A hard little nut of awful gravity. A black hole.

Happiness is a full time job. And for the most part it is not bliss, or joy, or smiling all the time. Though I am smiling a lot these New York days. Happiness is presence, and intent, and feeling that I am in the right place at the right time and I can say yes. To life.