Thursday, April 8, 2010

It is Gorgeous in My Head


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Molly Crabapple and I teamed up to create this T-shirt design for people who pre-order any album package of $100 or more. And I LOVE this design. The shirts will never be made available again. Oh ephemera!

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In other news:

I am completely in love with New York. My time here has been amazing. Every day I meet to collaborate with artists. Today I have two rehearsals, tomorrow as well. Shows keep rolling in and I have two music videos in the works! One with BriAnna Olson, one with Molly Crabapple and Jim Batt.

I got recognized on the street yesterday by a man whose seen me play. My friend Lucio says that being recognized in New York means you're doing something right.

And it feels right. I am in the right place, at the right time and I am soaking it up for all it's worth. Life doesn't often feel this...not perfect, but just somehow precise.

Yesterday morning I woke up discouraged. Yes, it's hard, this life. For everyone. And for me sometimes with the music. But I decided to change my outlook and then wonderful things started happening. I have a bunch of new artists signed on to make art for my album, and some writers too. And there will be a big post about this, and about how you can make art, or words, for The Impossible Girl project - which is getting big and lovely and growing beyond and growing up and taking flight.

I say I decided to change my outlook, as if that were easy. And it is easy, when it's easy. Other times it is nigh impossible. I haven't had a serious depression since December. There have been hard days, and a dark week after getting that terrible flu in Alabama. But really, for the past few months I have felt very strong.

I feel as though I have this swirling mass of energy, thoughts, actions, life, all around me. I am in the center of a Kim vortex. And when I am strong enough I can use the momentum of the spin to fling the bad thoughts back out into the stratosphere where they burn up. But if I am not strong, or not diligent enough, if I let the thoughts sink down, they take hold, the spin gets denser, faster, I get sucked down and down, collapsing in on myself. A hard little nut of awful gravity. A black hole.

Happiness is a full time job. And for the most part it is not bliss, or joy, or smiling all the time. Though I am smiling a lot these New York days. Happiness is presence, and intent, and feeling that I am in the right place at the right time and I can say yes. To life.




5 comments:

  1. Kim Vortex or awful gravity could be awesome album titles (after you knock this first one out of course).

    Being happy is hard. I know how you feel about depression. I hate when it happens to me and have tried hard to not let it get hold. I find my friends, music, and writing help me to stay centered.

    You are now part of that whole equation. Let me know if you ever need anything. :)

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  2. Thank you Kim.

    Thank you for these words you write and share.. I always feel a little silly when I write such things but you really are an inspiration to me.

    I admire you Kim, for your strength in believing in what you do, your focus, your dedication and commitment and honesty. I really admire the strenght you show, the will to go through, even exposing your weak spots at times.

    And as I am going throug some weird time these days I feel I can really look up to you and think of you as a positive example, as a proof that one can do things if they really focus on them.

    I am so glad that things for you are starting to fall into place, the Impossible Girl project is growing and I feel grateful to be a very tiny part of it with my little contribution.

    with lots of love and respect,

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  3. "Happiness is presence, and intent, and feeling that I am in the right place at the right time and I can say yes. To life."

    Yes. This. :) I am glad you are choosing to consciously fling the dark thoughts out to the stratosphere.

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  4. The shirt looks amazing!!!

    I'm so happy that everything is coming together in both your life and in the Impossible Girl Project. Considering how many people there are in this City to be recognized on the street based only on having been seen preform is a big deal, indeed!

    The scope and boundless limits of your vision never fail to impress me. I can't wait to see the work to come ahead, or to hear more about the Impossible Girl Project!

    Being happy has little to do with bliss, and more to do with bailing out the rainwater from our rowboat. As lifeforms, it is our plight to carve out a habitat in the chaos of nature. If we are not diligent in this then anxieties an depression will find there way in. You dream big, and you life big, and I'm sure there is much more rainwater that comes along with that. But I can't say enough how much having your art as an inspiration helps with my own Vortex. Thank you for your beautiful words!

    Much Love,
    Ry

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  5. Beautiful shirt.
    Don't let despair get you. Rock it out of your life!
    Hugs.

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