Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Cup

It wasn't really a cataclysmic event. I just looked up from my sushi dinner and told my date I didn't believe in love anymore.

"I don't believe in love anymore."

I felt the words, each a separate shape that hooked onto the one next to it, as they left my mouth. The words hung, in an eternally awkward moment of silence. The sentence fidgeted, scuffed one toe against the other and bashfully tried to insert itself back between my lips.

My date looked concerned.

"Since when?" he asked.

I shrugged and said nothing else until we got home. Home that is not my home anymore. Home that marks the absence of a geriatric cat. Home that I am sad, no glad, no sad, no glad, to leave. I brushed and flossed, stared at my new, not-believing-in-love face in the mirror, made aquaintance with eyes that no longer glistened with suspended disbelief.

"How do you feel?" He asked.


"I think you still believe in love." He said as I crawled into his lap.

But I feel empty. Like a cup that is about to be filled, but never is.


<a href="">Rainbows and Unicorns by Kim Boekbinder</a>


  1. Were you out with a mannequin?

    Didn't he ask you any questions?

    With me?
    With yourself?
    With life?
    In love's role in life?
    What about hate?

  2. I have always found love an interesting subject. As a person who likes to consider himself a skeptic, I have always wondered how I believe in love. It seems to go against everything I stand for. I tried to talk to Sheri about it but she gave me that, "Oh know, he's on a tangent look."

    The truth is I don't really know what love is but I know when I look at my wife I can't imagine a life without her. I know when I hug my nieces and nephews I would do anything for them. I know your music feels me with warmth and joy. I know every conversation with you has made me glad to know you.

    I think the wonderful thing about love is you don't have to believe in it. It doesn't need your acceptance or approval. Love just is.

    I know it probably isn't exactly what you had in mine but we will feel your cup until someone else does. Your friends, your fans, your family because each of us in our own way loves you, your music, who you are and what you stand for.

    Know that if Sheri and I were there we would be giving you a hug. It might not fill the cup but it is a start.

  3. "Si man i yulma nin enquantuva?"