Monday, April 11, 2011

Shannonigans & The Bewilderbeast

Chapter One

"You smell funny." Said The Bewilderbeast, snuffling into Shannonigans hair and exhaling quickly and with such a snort that her hair flew up around her face.

"Funny how?" Asked Shannonigans.

"I have no idea," Said The Bewilderbeast, "I'm absolutely flummoxed."


Chapter Two

"What are you doing?" Shannonigans murmured sleepily. 

"I don't know." Answered The Bewilderbeast. The train was rocking gently on the tracks. The Bewilderbeast looked up suddenly as though something had just occurred to it, "Something has just occurred to me..."

"What's that?" Asked Shannonigans letting her head flop in the general direction of the beast in her sleeper car.

"I'm confused!" Exclaimed The Bewilderbeast.

"You're always confused." Said Shannonigans.

"Yes, I know!" The Bewilderbeast looked quite chuffed, as though it had just solved a Rubik's cube with one hoof, while blindfolded, and riding a unicycle. "I know I'm always confused. I just figured that out."

"Do you find that confusing?" Shannonigans asked.

"Not at all." 


Chapter Three

The Bewilderbeast dropped its fork, then followed the action by sweeping the spoon, knife, and bread plate all on to the floor.

Shannonigans did not even bother asking why. She knew that any answer would leave both of them perplexed.

"I know why I did that." Said The Bewilderbeast in quiet astonishment. Shannonigans's eyes snapped open extra wide and her mouth formed a perfect "O."

"Oh?" She said. "You know?"

"Yes," Said The Bewilderbeast, "I know why."

Now it was Shannonigans's turn to be flummoxed. In all her years with her beastly companion she had always known one thing for certain: that nothing The Bewilderbeast did would ever make sense or be explainable to either the beast itself or to anyone else - Shannonigans included. 

And now the beast was telling her that it knew why it had done something.

"Why? Why did you do that?" Shannonigans asked with a modicum of trepidation. She didn't think she actually wanted to know. Nothing had ever shaken her so much as this possibility that The Bewilderbeast might suddenly make sense.

"I don't know why." Said The Bewilderbeast.

"But you just said you knew." Said Shannonigans, both relieved, and aggrieved that the beast had found a new way to confuse her.

"I mean I know that I did it because I don't know why I did it." said The Bewilderbeast, and when Shannonigans looked up she saw that tears stood on the precipice of The Bewilderbeast's eyelids, perched like liquid diamonds among the lush and beautiful lashes that fringed The Bewilderbeast's opalescent eyes. 

"I know I do things because I don't know why I do them."

"It's so confusing." Sighed Shannonigans.

"Tell me about it." Said The Bewilderbeast, brushing aside its long mane while it tossed the saltshaker out the window.


I wrote this today after thinking for several days that I should write something just because - not for work, or because it is good for my career, or a press release, or an interview. But just because I wanted to. So I wrote that.

If someone would like to do an illustration for this that would be lovely.

Maybe I will write more of these things called stories.


This story is dedicated to Shannon Marshall (Shannonigans!)


There is an album called "Bewilderbeast" there is also a band called "Bewilderbeast" I didn't know either of those until I said "Bewilderbeast!" out loud and then googled it.


  1. I love this story!!!! The idea of you writing more of these makes me happy happy happy!

  2. I really like this story! It reminds me very much of something from my childhood. Please do write more of these fantastical tales. :)
    Hopefully we will get lucky and Molly Crabapple will illustrate this in her wondrous way for you!

  3. I applaud your used of the word "flummoxed!"